Someone To Shout At

I have determined that the ideal person missing from my life is someone who I can shout at. And that is the only purpose they would serve.

Not that I shout a lot, mind you. Or have a need to shout much or often, but sometimes, there just needs to be some shouting, because nothing else seems to work, and the only thing that I think will make me feel better is to shout at someone in a big way.

I have friends and I have family. I have lots of good people who are good in my life, but these are all relationships that could potentially be damaged by dealing with too many of my crazy ways. Sometimes I am angry. Or hurt. Or frustrated. Or whatever. Maybe about something in particular. Or maybe I'm just having one of those "angry at the world" days. And sometimes I just need someone I can shout at for a few minutes.

However, this needs to be someone not directly related to why I am needing to shout. Or more importantly, someone who doesn't really have any idea about why I am shouting. It needs to be an impartial third party. I have friends who will take a good shouting from me. And I don't mind getting shouted at from time to time. We all need to have these friends in our lives who will put up with a shouting on occasion. But it is rare that I will do that to them. And it is rare that they will take that from me.

Especially if I'm shouting for no good reason, or for something they didn't do.

So, to have a someone in my life who was there just for me to shout at would get rid of the issue of hurting a friend's feelings, or taking advantage of a relationship by shouting too much. This shouted at person would serve the sole purpose of being the person I can call in the event I need to shout about something.

It should be a random person that isn't directly in my life. Someone I only talk to when I need to shout. Someone who doesn't need to know the details, doesn't really care about me and of course, doesn't shout back or offer advice during the shouting. Most importantly, that person has to be available in the middle of the night, completely okay with me ringing to wake him or her up for a good shouting, and absolutely unaffected by the whole ordeal and not angry at me the morning after. It is important for this person to be non-affected and completely unfazed. That way I don't feel guilty for shouting, and he or she is certain not to care at all about anything I've shouted about.

It's perfect. No strings attached. No commitment, other than being the person I know I can call when I wake up, can't sleep and I need to let someone have it.

I will be auditioning for this role, possibly anytime, potentially between the hours of 2 and 4am, weeknights only. Be sure to leave me your phone number if you are interested.